Marriage Counseling: A Tale Of Two Demons
by ladyasile
Summary: Kurama and Hiei have been having problems as of recent, and it's gotten on everyone's nerves! What to do? Counseling with Botan in a closet! Enjoy! Rated M for safety. HK
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I just had to do this! Forgive me if it comes out crappy! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I never will own YYH! TT

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Marriage Counseling: A Tale Of Two Demons**

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"So, why aren't you two talking to each other this time?" Botan said tiredly. How long was this going on for now? Both Hiei and Kurama had recently started feuding over the smallest thing. It was getting on everyone's nerves! "You two are mates! Married, practically!" the blue-haired woman shouted when neither would answer her.

"Hn, baka decided that we should enjoy a night out together, even though I hate ningen places!" the short tempered demon shouted, almost to a deafening volume. Kurama gasped and raised his hand to smack the other on the head, but slowly drew it in and composed himself.

"It would not kill you to try new things! And we just went to see a musical in the finest theatre… THAT HAPPENS TO BE UTTERLY TRASHED NOW!" Botan hid behind her chair during the last part. 'Let Hiei take all that rage! I'm just listening to their problems because everyone got tired of them fighting. And how the hell did I end up in a closet with them, with only our chairs to offer us any comfort?'

Pink eyes looked at the two fighting demons throwing the pieces of their chairs at each other. "Oh dear… it'll be seconds before they start unleashing their powers!" She began to stand up, only to be forced back by heavy flying debris. "THAT'S IT! SIT DOWN, YOU BITCHES!" Botan shouted at the top of her lungs.

Surprised by the cursing coming from the normally bubbly reaper, both stood stunned. She literally had steam coming out of her ears! "Good," she said in her nice voice, "Hiei and Kurama, we are all gathered here today…"

"WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED!" two very cross demons shouted in perfect harmony, contradicting their relationship at the current moment.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M DOING THE TALKING!"

Needless to say, both obeyed their order. Kurama sat as far away from Hiei as he possibly could in the small closet. 'I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that there is light in here,' he thought.

"So, we're all here because everyone's fed up with your constant fighting!" she growled at them. Hiei half-expected to see Botan turn into a wolf from the way she growled.

"It's time to begin your counseling. We'll all figure out how to make your marriage…" She paused after feeling stares of hate on her. "Your _relationship _work for the better! We will save it from… divorce?" she offered weakly. Two pairs of glares were her response. 'At least, they feel the same toward me. Improvement!" Though he secretly knew that nothing had changed at all.

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TBC…

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A/N: I'm not sure why, but I feel like someone's done this before. Have they? If so, sorry! However, I wish to continue it… if anyone even reads it! Thanks for reading! 


	2. Why Talking Doesn't Work

**Marriage Counseling: A Tale Of Two Demons**

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Chapter Two: Why Talking Doesn't Work**

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A/N: Many people seemed to like Botan cursing… I'm with them! Well, it seems I'm writing nothing but these short stories… Strange because I usually write long ones. I'll do my best to write this one, since I happen to have fifteen people around me. They're all here for Thanksgiving, so in total there are thirty-seven people in one house. Well, enjoy!!!

Disclaimer: Never will I own YYH.

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"So…" Botan began. The two demons had settled down now. She knew that she had to do whatever it took to help them both out. 'Oh, why didn't Keiko let Yusuke knock them both around a bit? Why me?'

"…"

"Please continue, Botan," Kurama said. To Botan, he did seem calmer than the other demon in the closet. She sighed and resumed her talking. "Well, let's talk about how you both feel about each…" Poor Botan didn't get a chance to finish as Hiei rudely interrupter. "The fox is a whiny little bitch that never shuts up about feelings, love, and nudity!" Botan and Kurama remained quiet from the shock. "Since when did you…" And yet again she was interrupted.

"I was talking about _humanity _not _nudity_! And look who's talking about little! You're the smallest out of both of us!" Botan began to blush. 'He means body height, right? Not… well…"

"Shut the fuck up! I don't care about those types of things to talk about. They SUCK!" Hiei shouted, prolonging the last word. "More than you'll ever do! And if you were not so damn quiet, then maybe we could talk about other things, HIEI!" Kurama bellowed even more loudly. Both demons stood up and charged straight for each other.

"SIT DOWN, BRATS!" Botan huffed, but nothing happened. Both were still going for each other's necks. "I SAID SIT DOWN, BITCHES!" And they did. 'Do they only respond to that?' the grim reaper thought.

"So know that Hiei hates talking about your topics, Kurama. And you feel irritated because Hiei never expresses his opinions on any topic if it doesn't contain violence, torture, or…" "Sweet snow," answered Hiei proudly, making Botan almost burst out with laughter. "Yes, Hiei, sweet snow… Well, now lets talk about what interests… Never mind, you both know everything about each other."

Hiei and Kurama looked at each other, and in a blur they began to tackle each other again. "Damn you, fox! You never let me kill anyone around here!" "They're human! And you never let me plant new things in the garden! Anytime I go out, you insist on coming with me to any place that sells sweet snow!" Kurama had managed to get Hiei under him, but Hiei was repeatedly punching his stomach, though both were not as strong now. Yusuke had taken the opportunity to slip a substance into their drinks before he pushed them into the closet, along with Botan.

"DAMN YOU TWO! SIT DOWN, BITCHES!" Botan looked to see two very fatigued demons pant. The kept eye contact with Botan, though. "Now then… Kurama, what do you like about Hiei? There had to be something that attracted you to him, so what is it?"

"Shut up, Urameshi." Yusuke hit Kuwabara on the head. "I'm not even talking!" They were all outside the closet door, listening as best they could to the commotion on the other side. They heard the muffled question Botan had asked Kurama and were now eager to know the answer.

"It's simple… I liked how…" Kurama blushed, feeling that he couldn't go on. Botan smiled kindly. 'So cute! I bet it was Hiei's personality!'

Hiei kept looking at Kurama. He never had asked what it was he liked about him, but…

"BAKA! YOU'RE BLUSHING LIKE SCHOOL GIRL! PATHETIC!!!" shouted the little fire demon. Botan literally collapsed, and Kurama…

"HIEI!" Both began to fight yet again…

"My brain…" Botan muttered to herself. She stood up and went past the fighting demons to the door. "OPEN UP THE FUCKING DOOR!"

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TBC…

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A/N: Well, that's the ending of this chapter. Gosh, they keep fighting too much. At least they don't use their demonic powers! XD Well, Botan doesn't know that at all. I bet she has a sore throat now. I'm thinking maybe two more chapters and then I'll be done. Thanks for everything!! You've been great! 


	3. You Owe Me!

**Marriage Counseling: A Tale Of Two Demons**

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Chapter Three: You Owe Me!**

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A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are so great. Forgive me if this sucks, but I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I just couldn't keep updating all my other stories and keep ignoring this one, so I am writing it now.

Disclaimer: I'm still doing these? That proves I don't own YYH!

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"I TOLD YOU TO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, YOU BASTARDS!" Botan kept yelling, even though both demons that were with her had ran out of energy, and were no longer fighting.

"Not until those two have worked out their issues, Botan!" She heard Yusuke shout back, but with less volume than she had used. Botan slumped to the floor and began to cry out of frustration.

Kurama looked down, obviously ashamed of his behavior. And Hiei merely began to kick the wall for fun, which drew out frowns from a certain redhead. Hiei felt imaginary daggers hit his back, and at

once stopped his kicking. He turned to see Kurama with a death glare that put his to shame.

"What is it?" Kurama chanced another glimpse at the crying grim reaper before scooting over to Hiei.

"Perhaps it will behoove us all if you and I pretended to have made up. What do you say, Hiei?"

Ruby eyes looked at the fox, then at the still crying Botan, and back again at the fox. With a smug grin he said, "Kurama, I'm having too much fun… No."

"W-what? You'd rather we be in a closet and suffer for your own amusement?"

"…Hn…"

"I can not believe how callous you are being. Hiei!" Kurama lunged at Hiei and began to punch his face relentlessly. For the first time, the little fire demon could not fight back. Every time he would lift his arm, Kurama threw it back down with force that he had never showed before.

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"It sound like they're all killing each other in there, Yusuke," Keiko whispered. Yusuke gulped nervously, already thinking that maybe this had gone to far.

"They'll all be fine…"

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"Never… knew… you had so… much power in you… Kurama," Hiei panted out. He sat up and forced Kurama off from him, seeing as he had collapsed after he grew fatigued from punching Hiei.

"Why do we fight so much now? Remember how nice we got along before?" Kurama whispered. He laid next to Hiei, but made no effort in trying to attack or get near him.

"I'm not sure… Wait!" Hiei sat up in alarm and looked at Kurama with wide eyes. "Don't all demons that have found their mates fight on their five year anniversary?"

Kurama's eyes widened as big as Hiei. He slapped his forehead with his hand. "And they fight a couple of days before and after! How could I have forgotten?"

Both demons looked at each other and began to blush.

"Sorry," both said together. At long last, Hiei and Kurama felt their burning passion for each other. Kurama crawled on top of Hiei and kissed him fiercely.

Botan noticed that the fighting and shouting had ceased. She looked up and saw both men kissing each other.

"… WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHY ARE YOU TWO KISSING WHEN I WAS CRYING?"

"Well, that ruined the moment," muttered Kurama.

"Damned woman," Hiei hissed.

Kurama stood up and walked over to Botan to explain what had happened. "You see, when two demons mate… They tend to have awkward anniversaries at times. As it so happens to be, our fifth anniversary passed a week ago. As a consequence of a fifth anniversary, all demons fight with their mates to test each other. I suppose we both passed since we did kiss and make up."

Botan's mouth hung wide open. "Y-you made m-me suffer for not… realizing that your fifth anniversary… was the cause of it all?"

Kurama bowed his head. "Yes, but we both apologize. Forgive us, Botan."

Pink eyes suddenly flared with unbelievable fury. "YOU BITCHES MADE ME SUFFER, SO NOW YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!"

Both mighty demons suddenly felt weak and little, and knew that they had to obey Botan's orders.

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TBC…

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A/N: Well, one more chapter to go! Hope you liked it. Yeah, that was probably a lame excuse to fight, but it seemed plausible. Everyone makes up things for mates in the makai, so I just put my crazy idea in, Thanks for reading! Special thanks to my beta Brokenshardsofmyheart99. 


	4. The End?

**Marriage Counseling: A Tale Of Two Demons**

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Chapter Four: The End?**

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A/N: Well, this is the last chapter! Yeah, besides that I have nothing more to say… Except that I still have more stories to work on. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Hm, I don't own YYH.

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"So what did you end up giving Botan? I've never seen her so pissed!" Yusuke laughed. Keiko punched him and turned to look at the now blushing demons.

"It couldn't have been so bad, right?" She asked, but received no answer. Keiko turned to see Yukina and Kuwabara.

"Yeah, you just gave her treasure, right?" Kuwabara asked, but he received the same answer as Keiko.

Yukina stood up and walked over to Hiei. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "What is that she requested?"

Both Hiei and Kurama shuddered and held hands, readying themselves to finally tell them. Hiei opened his mouth to speak, but Kurama placed his hand over it. "We shouldn't!" Hiei kept his mouth open with Kurama's hand over it while he thought about it. After a moment he nodded.

"Aw, you're not going to tell us?" Yusuke whined.

"Damn, was it really that bad?" asked Kuwabara with gasp.

Hiei stood up and got Kurama in his arms before going out the nearest exit rapidly, so no one could stop him.

"At least they're together, ne?" Yukina offered.

"And they're not fighting anymore!" Keiko chirped happily.

Koenma walked around his room for a long time. He kept waiting and waiting for Botan to come. The door opened and revealed a very happy grim reaper holding something in her hands.

"Did you get it?" Koenma asked a little too eagerly.

"Yeah! Don't worry I was there to witness it all, so I know they actually did it. I can't believe they did!" Botan squealed cheerfully.

Koenma's eyes grew big. "Now we can blackmail them, especially Hiei!!!" He jumped up and down from all the excitement.

Botan handed him the package, and he opened it in an instant. Koenma took out a DVD and began to play it on his enormous television. Both began to watch it, suppressing giggles.

"We'll never tell them all anything!" Hiei growled. Kurama nodded.

They cuddled up in their bed and continued to think about their embarrassing compensation. "Hiei, what if they find out?"

"I'll kill them."

"…"

"First time you didn't oppose me… Why?"

"… To save face. Do you really want this particular thing to follow you for the rest of your life?"

"Hn."

"I thought as much. Let's hope Botan at least keeps it to herself," Kurama said, placing his arm around Hiei.

Hiei leaned in and kiss Kurama's lips. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hiei."

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End?

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Thanks for the awesome reviews! And thanks to Brokenshardsofmyheart99 for being my beta! 


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